May is approaching fast…
Two years of learning, un-learning and re-learning with this amazing movement collective, a family of souls meeting within the dance. Soul Motion® Teacher Training is coming to an end, May 21st to be exact.
It comes to an end and will begin again and again.
The teachings are everywhere and forever unfolding.
I have had the feeling as if everything I ever learned is being torn apart to land re-arranged and re-constructed in me.
I sometimes have had no idea where the class – us in unity – would end.
I have been through journeys of feeling love in greater degree than ever before followed by the deepest self-disgust, self-hatred and non-love. I have been digging into the deepest fears of never having enough to the total bliss of sensing that we are all One.
Old habit of doing has showed its face, smacking my face with judgement and impatience, eager to label non-doing with laziness and being unstructured to then re-orientate myself into “the less I do the more happens” If I make that choice.
It is when I get stuck in the habit, caught in the emotional drama, far from what is really happening, disconnecting myself from the whole, that my lack of direction, loss of focus happens.
I get weak and tired as the inner voice is blabbering with old tunes of not good enough.
I am doing it all myself, I am the one to blame and the one who can change that tune.
Instead of battling that voice, I welcome it – I invite it in at the buffet.
Let her be moved.
That’s where acceptance happens and the shift of perspective happens.
“I am one with all one” the phrase of The Dance Infinate, the dance where I devote myself to the experience, one element or everything experienced on the floor and bring it into my everyday.
I am ok. I am allowed. I am love.
I dare to be and recognize the pain under my skin and meanwhile recognize it in those around me.
This morning I took a half step back and began again in my Mindful Movement 8am morning journey.
Maybe the time of the day, that special morning vibe that did the magic. Maybe the words below made the room unfold as well as my new flower nourished every day from now on and ahead – acceptance.
When allowing, accepting, not expecting nor intending I was touched by grace.
With one hand reaching out and one hand reaching in, I am overflowing with love
Here’s the words that we dived into, surrounded us with as we took a step in all directions.
May this note from my heart be in ever inspiration….
We cannot transform our lives, unless we allow them to be transformed by that stroke of grace. It happens; or it does not happen. And certainly it does not happen if we try to force it upon ourselves, just as it shall not happen so long as we think, in our self-complacency, that we have no need of it. Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness. It strikes us when we walk through the dark valley of a meaningless and empty life. It strikes us when we feel that our separation is deeper than usual, because we have violated another life, a life which we loved, or from which we were estranged. It strikes us when our disgust for our own being, our indifference, our weakness, our hostility, and our lack of direction and composure have become intolerable to us. It strikes us when, year after year, the longed-for perfection of life does not appear, when the old compulsions reign within us as they have for decades, when despair destroys all joy and courage. Sometimes at that moment a wave of light breaks into our darkness, and it is as though a voice were saying:
“You are accepted. You are accepted, accepted by that which is greater than you, and the name of which you do not know. Do not ask for the name now; perhaps you will find it later. Do not try to do anything now; perhaps later you will do much. Do not seek for anything; do not perform anything; do not intend anything. Simply accept the fact that you are accepted!” If that happens to us, we experience grace. After such an experience we may not be better than before, and we may not believe more than before. But everything is transformed. In that moment, grace conquers sin, and reconciliation bridges the gulf of estrangement. And nothing is demanded of this experience, no religious or moral or intellectual presupposition, nothing but acceptance.
~ Paul Tillich’s Sermon Shaking the Foundations
Our story begins
“Know what you want or don’t get it has been one phrase that kept ringing my ear.
I had forgotten my yes. I knew what I did not want and navigated through and from that. I did not see clearly what I really wished for.
When creating a new name for my seven year old dance studio and movement space, a new logo and website I got to dance the waves of highs and lows.
How did I see “ME” presented online? What to write and how to communicate it to a person that builds websites?
I knew in my heart that I found the perfectly right person in Anneli.
We both allowed feelings of shy, humble, insecurity and excitement of our creative process together that was ahead of us.
Me knowing my “no” so well became an advantage for our dance of communicating via email and in video conference calls. I was clear making it easier for Anneli to take next steps.
We enjoyed every meeting we had also when challenging not technical possible for us to get it like we wanted. We managed, tweaked, added and deleted and got great support from plug-in teams.
We both have a passion for images that takes our breath away. We both have a sense of detail.
That for me was such a relief as I often heard a voice in me saying that “that little detail doesn’t matter”, but it does – to me.
We have created a website for me that has every small detail thought of.
It is a reflection of me and the self-empowerment feeling I sit with today three days after sending it into the world, feels so right.
When the website was actually finished and ready to be shown to the world, my perfectionist voice came. I wanted all to be read through. When the last days for that came, I was tired, my body said pause and rest.
So I did, I listened and nurtured myself with good food, naps and walks.
I did not go into the habitual letting the perfectionist take over as a bad excuse to jump out into the new…
Faster than expected all technicalities of re-directing the old website got done and Be moved was in the world.
Not edited completely into every single little detail, and with a deep breath I proudly presented it and allowed the tapping faults, a couple of places had my old email address standing in there.
I kept moving forward and not being in the old “not good enough mentality”
So, this past month has been a mastery of self process to me.
To allow all emotions in.
To keep moving forward and get a little done every day
To do my practice consistently and stay focused.
With the artistry that Anneli is gifted with and how she gracefully assist and accompany my ideas and my passion for lifting people to shine their light and let them unleash what might had become hidden Self unveiled was born
Out of the idea that the gifts Anneli and I have alone and together could be a gift for other
We are a great couple, we inspire and make each other think deeper. We wished to have a new creation together and Self unveiled domain was bought the day after launch of my website.
We laughed about how our muses were activated and so inspired.
What I take with me from this experience is how important it is to keep dancing through life as a everyday practice. Just like in music – the festive dress of silence – I have experienced the importance of pausing being in silence.
To have spaces in between the to dos for me. To take a walk or watch a movie even though some text “needs to be done.”
The more I forced the words to come through my fingers and into the keyboard, the less happened.
How important it has been to let the “work we done so far” rest and breathe and go back in and out of the website with new eyes.”
Maybe we are the ones you been waiting for.
Get into your body and create from there – we are both passionate movement teachers and living life consciously is what we praise and practice.
In the process of setting your focus and sharpening your intent to create a visual identity that holds you, self unveiled will take you into deeper layers of yourself
Become unveiled and nothing will be in the way of you shining your light
Taking new steps